My friend Nuke, who probably thinks I'm stalking him, likes to quote from James 1:2, which says "Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials." I don't know about you, but I think that is really, really, really hard!
Today was a busy and rough day at work. E-mail was flying in like mad, and there's a key milestone approaching for one of the programs I'm working on, so I spent a lot of my day fighting fires there. Now, the weather outside was just about perfect today...upper 60's, sunny and not much wind. So, around 2 pm, I left a message at home asking if I could golf tonight. I had planned to play a few holes tonight after supper, but with it being so nice, I was hoping I could get 9 in. I knew my wife and kids were having a play date with another family, so I thought they could order pizza and I could golf. My wife thought this was a great idea.
This really brought me joy...very easy to Consider it All Joy at this moment. I got to the golf course at 5:00 or so and tee'd off right away. As I was walking to the green on hole 2, my wife called to say that the other family had to leave, but that they were going to ride bikes downtown, hit the awesome pizza place down there and then go to the library. So, more joy for me...everybody was having a good time.
As I got to the tee box on the 6th hole, my phone rang again. It was my wife again, and this time, our 7 year old was having a melt down and I needed to come help. Now, our 7 year old is autistic, so melt downs are not uncommon, but they have been more rare lately. Angry now, I headed for the car, angrily threw my clubs in the back and headed to the library, which is only about 4 minutes from the golf course. At this point, I was not doing very well with considering it all joy. Amazing how easy it is to be joyful when the good times are rolling and how hard it gets as soon as the trials pop up.
I got to the library, loaded my son and his bike into the van and told him that we were going home, we were going to eat supper, he was going to take a shower and he was going to bed. I also explained, somewhat angrily (ok, quite angrily), how his actions were adversely affecting every one's night. This broke his heart and he started to cry. But I was seething, so I still wasn't the nicest dad in the world even after he started crying. When we got home, my son went inside and I got the mail. When I got inside, he was sitting on the steps crying, and my heart melted. We talked for a little bit and I told him that I forgive him and that I loved him. I explained that he still had to go to bed early because that was his punishment and we talked about how he could do better in the future. He's very smart, so once he's calm, you can explain proper behavior to him, and little by little, it seems to be sinking in. Then we proceeded on with our night.
As I was getting supper on the table, "Consider it all joy..." popped into my head. Well, I failed miserably at that tonight. I really should have embraced my job as a father tonight, rather than focusing on my own selfish desire to play golf. Well...message received, loud and clear. I wonder if I'll remember this the next time I'm given an opportunity to consider it all joy in the face of a trial. I pray that I will, but knowing my nature, I'll probably fail again, but maybe next time I'll remember how I'm supposed to behave sooner. I know I can't be perfect and that I'll always slip up, but hopefully, little by little, I'll learn proper behavior too.
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5 comments:
Wow, Honey. THAT might be your best post ever. Our kids don't have a perfect dad because that doesn't exist, but they're lucky they have a dad is so willing to keep trying to be one.
I totally agree. Your children (and wife) are very blessed by God to have a father and husband who recognizes and admits to his faults.
Like you said, counting trials as joy is perhaps one of the hardest things we will ever have to learn in life. Is it possible to count them joy to the point where you say, "that wasn't so bad... bring on the next (and harder) one!" I'm not sure I want to ever hit that point.
Yes, counting it all joy is much easier said than done. I especially like it when I'm about ready to have a melt down myself and my daughter (who has been attending Bible study with us) says, "Remember to count it all joy, Mom." Ugh! Why does she have to go and say that?? Anyway, we are fortunate God loves us enough to help us grow and gives us the opportunities to do so. (This is T, by the way...)
Wow, that was really weird. For a minute there I thought someone hacked into my account and I was starting to freak out. Now WE are the ones who look like stalkers!
You didn't mention it, but I assume that you asked your son for forgiveness too (in addition to offering it to him). Admitting your faults on the intarwebs is encouraging and challenging for the rest of us out here in cyberspace, but restoring the relationship with someone you've wronged requires the transaction of asking for and being granted forgiveness. Even God himself only forgives those who confess their sins and seek his grace and mercy; your son (and mine, whenever I fail him) deserves that step of restoration.
(note: this is not meant as a condemnation since, as i mentioned, you most likely did seek forgiveness from your son, but more as a reminder to anyone else who happens to stumble across this blog post)
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